


So for the Yo

by Angevon



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M, souyoweek2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angevon/pseuds/Angevon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots written for SouYo Week 2016 on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> [Souyoweek2016 Original Post](http://souyoweek2016.tumblr.com/post/145029580889/souyo-week-the-week-for-fan-made-creations-based)
> 
>  
> 
> Rated T for some suggestive content in later chapters, haha...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji can't stop himself from daydreaming about something he can't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 (June 12) : Confessions / ~~Favorite Canon Moment~~
> 
> My favorite canon moment is actually the Group Date Cafe scene, but that fic has already been written in a SouYo way by other talented writers, so I decided to go with Yet Another Confession scene.
> 
> A Yu Narukami version is available [here at Dreamwidth!](http://angevon.dreamwidth.org/38469.html)

Souji didn't know when exactly he'd fallen for his best friend, or even how, but it had happened and there wasn't much help for him now. Perhaps the fact that he represented the Fool arcana had some significance. Only fools fell in love, after all, or so the saying went.

He and Yosuke weren't on a date. They were just friends having an after school snack at Souzai Daigaku. 

"–and then she demanded to see the manager." Yosuke laughed. "It was like, 'Lady, don't you realize the manager is my dad?' Ahh, customers. Can't live without 'em."

Souji maintained the indulgent smile he always wore when listening to his best friend ramble on. He could half-listen to Yosuke talk all day like this. Half-listen, because a good portion of his mind was dedicated to his daydreams.

He could pretend. Pretend he was on a date. 

How pathetic was that...? Souji held in the sigh trying to escape. Why did it have to be Yosuke? Why couldn't it have been that guy in glasses that hung out in the second floor hallway after class? Maybe it was because of all they'd been through in the TV World, or maybe it was because of how much neck that boy had. He always wore those v-necks. In fact he was wearing one now. Souji could imagine kissing the boy from his shoulder all the way up to his ear...

"Hey, partner," Yosuke said, tossing the remains of his steak skewer into the nearby garbage can. "You ready to go?"

Or maybe that was it. 'Partner.' Souji had misunderstood Yosuke's meaning back when he'd first used it and continued to think it might mean something more than simple friendship. Or at least, pretend it might mean something...

"Partner?"

Souji stirred in his seat, blinking back into the here and now. He nodded and pushed out of his seat. He and Yosuke began to walk down the central shopping district. 

He could pretend it was a date, but... he couldn't hold Yosuke's hand. It was swinging at his side while they walked. Yosuke had once said that Souji seemed good with his hands, but Yosuke had long fingers of his own. They'd be good for playing piano, or maybe guitar. Souji imagined those fingers threading through his hair, maybe tugging just a little...

They arrived at the overlook. Yosuke leaned against the railing, resting his arms flat along the top. He looked out over the town. Souji pretended to do the same, but he was really watching Yosuke from the corner of his eye. The sunlight caught on his hair, making it seem lighter than its dyed hue. The wind blew in a gust, stirring up some of the fallen early autumn leaves. It was a scene right out of a romance movie. Souji could imagine Yosuke turning to him with a sudden, needy look. 'Kiss me,' he'd say.

And Souji would pretend to be all shy, then move in and kiss him long on the lips. They'd be warm and then, and then they'd pull apart and stare into each others eyes and...

"Souji?" 

Just like that, almost! Yosuke's eyes were such a soft brown, they matched his hair perfectly. Souji smiled hopelessly at him. "Yeah?"

"Kiss me?"

Souji blinked at him several times, and then frowned. He was getting his fantasy mixed up with reality. "Huh?"

"K-kiss me, please," Yosuke stammered.

The puzzled look remained on Souji's face. He worked his jaw as he struggled to come up with a coherent response. 

"I'm not stupid," Yosuke said. "I've seen the looks you give me when you think I'm not looking."

The shock had worn off, leaving Souji merely bewildered. His mind seemed to be chugging along at a snail's pace. 

"Look," Yosuke said frankly, "if you're not gonna... I guess it's up to me."

Before Souji knew it, Yosuke stepped right into his personal space. Suddenly those lips that had looked so kissable earlier were coming right for him. 

When they were there, pressed against his own, that's when Souji sighed, a long sigh full of all the relief he felt in that moment. It caused the kiss to break apart for a moment, but he was quick to draw Yosuke into a longer kiss, one that made Yosuke make a noise that sounded very close to a moan.

"There," Yosuke whispered less than an inch from his lips, so close that his next words brushed their lips together. "Was that so hard?"

"Yosuke, I..." Souji began, but Yosuke shushed him.

"It's all right," Yosuke said. "I've known for a while. That you're not just my best friend."

"It's... It's okay to want to kiss your best friend," Souji managed.

"Not the way I want to kiss." Yosuke's eyes were narrowed, focused entirely on Souji's mouth. There was a moment's hesitation, and then he closed the distance.

Their noses bumped and their teeth clashed, but it was okay, because Yosuke was so eager, it felt like it was out of a dream. "This is real, right?" Souji stopped to ask.

"I could pinch you if you'd like," Yosuke offered. "But..."

His hesitation only made Souji curious. "But what?"

"I might..." Yosuke paused again, his face turning a deeper shade of red than it already was. "I might... pinch your butt instead."

There was no way this was real.

"It's real," Yosuke assured him. "I like you, and... I don't know. It's a little frightening, but I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"Me neither!" Souji said. "That's why it was so hard to..."

"Sometimes," Yosuke said, "you just need to reach out and grab it."

Dream or not, Yosuke was asking for it. Souji put his arms around Yosuke and grabbed his ass with both hands. "Like this?" he breathed.

"I-I thought I was supposed to be the one pinching you!"

Despite his embarrassment, Yosuke didn't pull away, instead he squeezed his arms under Souji's so he could do exactly the same thing. It felt weird, having hands on the seat of his pants, but Souji was too deliriously happy about this turn of events to care. 

"I like you," Souji was inspired to announce. 

"Yeah," said Yosuke, smiling softly, shyly, back at him.

They kissed again, and when they separated, they stared into each other's eyes for quite some time. As the quiet moment turned into several quiet moments, Souji began to accept that it wasn't a dream. Yosuke was here, he was holding him and wanting him close. Souji knew they'd have a lot to talk about soon, a lot to figure out, but for now, he was just happy to enjoy the moment—happy that he no longer had to pretend.


	2. A Picture is Worth So Many Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji is away from home, but not without a way to keep in touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 (June 13) : Alternate Universe / Long Distance 
> 
> Filling both prompts at once! This is based on my Days Without Nights universe and takes place after the events of the fic. If you aren't reading it, Yosuke has a son named Kichirou, and Souji is basically his second dad.
> 
> A Yu Narukami version is available [here at Dreamwidth!](http://angevon.dreamwidth.org/38797.html)

The inn that the Kirijo group had set him up in was nice. Souji really couldn't complain. It was traditional in style, much like the Amagi inn with its floor futons, but it had modern conveniences, such as a private bathroom and a digital alarm clock.

Souji's only real complaint was that he was away from home. Mitsuru-san had called him up for some urgent Shadow Operative business, so he'd had to leave his comfortably domestic life to take care of it. It shouldn't take long—it was just some training he had to help with—but it was the principle of the thing.

He hadn't wanted to leave his family, though he was sure Yosuke and Kichirou were doing just fine without him. They'd managed before, after all, but he couldn't help thinking about them and worrying. Had Kichirou done all his homework?

He sent the boy a text asking him just that, and thus opened a line of communication. Kichirou wanted to know everything about what he was doing and where he was, so Souji sent him a bunch of pictures he'd taken. He loved showing off; a monster had been created the day he'd bought a phone with a built-in camera.

 _Oh! you're going to sleep on the floor,_ Kichirou texted in response to the latest set, which were a bunch of pictures of his room at the inn.

 _Yeah! Maybe when I get back, we can have a campout night in the living room,_ Souji suggested. _We'll invite Hiro-chan and it can be a party!_

_I can't wait!_

_I'll need to buy a yukata. Or maybe I'll 'borrow' the one I have on right now._

_A yukata? I wanna see!_

Souji stared at the message for a second before breaking out into a grin. With all the pictures he'd taken of the room, he'd forgotten to include a picture of himself! The inn had provided a yukata to walk around in. It was cream-colored and had the stiff quality of clothing that had been washed a few too many times.

He sat down on the tea table, smiled, and took a selfie. He sent it to Kichirou with a cute cat emoticon at the end.

There wasn't an answer from Kichirou after that. According to the digital clock, it was around his bedtime. Routine was fairly strong in the Hanamura residence. Yosuke should be giving him a bath right now, and then Yosuke would read him the next chapter of the book they were reading, and then he'd be asleep.

Souji wasn't yet ready to turn in himself. He had to meet with Junpei-san in the morning, but he knew the guy was a late sleeper. There wasn't any need to head to bed early, so Souji pulled out a picross book he'd bought in the lobby and got to work. He was on the third puzzle when his phone buzzed with a text message.

It was from Yosuke.

_Please don't send sexy pictures to my son_

…

…

…

Sexy pictures?! 

Souji was offended. There was nothing wrong with the picture he'd sent. To make sure of that, he opened it on his phone. Nope, it was just him in a yukata. It was waist-up, the belt was tied and tight, and the only skin he'd been showing was his face. It wasn't sexy at all, and in fact, the most prominent thing about it was the shot of the hand-painted mural of a koi pond behind him.

Unless... Yosuke was just saying that because he himself wanted some actual sexy pictures. 

Souji's frown morphed into a grin. He pulled the collar of the yukata down some to expose his left collarbone and mussed his hair up in a way that he hoped looked dashing. Then he took a snap and sent it directly to Yosuke.

 _I promise I'll never send him a pic like this,_ he captioned it.

He found a souvenir fan he'd obtained at a tourist site. He lifted his head high to show off his neck and pretended to fan himself as he took another selfie.

_Or this._

He loosened the sash just a bit so that he could show off more of his chest. Yosuke had always found his scars fascinating, so he made sure the big one was prominent. He put hand over his mouth and sent what he intended as a coquettish look at the camera.

 _Partner,_ Yosuke responded

Souji's grin grew wider. He leaned over the phone, eager to see what else Yosuke was typing.

_More_

Souji laughed. He scanned the room, trying to come up with something exciting and settled on the low table he was already sitting on. He stretched out on top of it, one leg over the other, and took one of his legs out of the yukata so that it looked like he was about to fall out of it.

It was hard to take a photo that got the whole image in, but he was pretty satisfied with the result.

 _Would be better w/o yukata,_ Yosuke sent.

This was getting beyond risqué, but Souji wasn't complaining.

 _Too bad you aren't here to take me out of it,_ Souji sent back.

_Yeah..._

Souji stared at that message for a long moment. Then he pressed the call button on his phone. "Yosuke?" he said when it was picked up.

"Partner?" 

Souji swallowed the lump in his throat. "I miss you."

"Yeah," Yosuke said. "I miss you too."


	3. The Late Night Expansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A video game reveals a problem in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 (June 14) : ~~Cooking~~ / Video Games 
> 
> I had an idea for cooking, but honestly I am not a cook so it would've taken too much research to write properly, so I went with the easier prompt, inspired by my own recent adventures in casual gaming.
> 
> A Yu Narukami version is available [here at Dreamwidth!](http://angevon.dreamwidth.org/39139.html)

Souji came home from another long day of university classes and work. He offered a casual hello to his boyfriend and roommate, Yosuke, who was studying at the tea table, before moving into the bedroom they shared to put his briefcase away and to get changed into more casual clothes.

He headed back into the entryway after that since it also housed their kitchen. Instead of a one-room mansion, they were fortunate enough to have two rooms for their apartment: a bedroom and a room that was everything else at once. He heated up some leftover yakisoba for himself in the microwave, knowing Yosuke had already eaten something for dinner. The unlucky guy had early morning classes, so he would be heading off to bed soon enough.

Once the microwave did its thing, Souji brought his meal to the computer desk to eat it while he browsed the web to catch up on news. Not much seemed to be going on in his network, which was just as well. 

By the time he finished eating, Yosuke was out of sight, probably in the next room getting ready to head to sleep. That was always how their evenings went, barely an exchanged greeting between the two, but there wasn't much to be done about it when their schedules clashed so much. 

Since he could stay up a bit later, Souji settled himself more comfortably into the computer chair with a soft sigh and launched the casual game he'd recently become addicted to: the Sims.

He'd been drawn into the game by the promise of owning virtual pets. The landlord of the apartment complex didn't allow them, but he could live out his fantasy via this silly little game. He'd only been playing it for about a week, and he'd found it was a nice way to unwind and get his mind off the events of the day. He was looking forward to another evening spent lost in his Sim world. He'd only made a few Sims: himself, Yosuke, and the two cats that he'd put into their household. His favorite cat was the white one he'd named Fwuffles, but he also liked the black cat with long fur he'd named Mr. Nibbles.

But when he started the game, he frowned, because it wasn't where he'd left it last night. He'd stopped when his Sims went to bed, since it always seemed like a nice stopping point. This was early evening, quite a bit before the Sims would decide to sleep.

With a mental shrug, Souji let the game play. He had his Sim make himself a dinner of ratatouille. He didn't have to make his Sim clean up after eating—the character did it automatically because he had the Neat trait. It was pretty funny how true to life the game was sometimes, though Souji hadn't yet thrown away his microwave meal box at the computer desk in real life. Maybe he really didn't have that trait.

After brushing one of the cats and cleaning out the litter box, Souji's Sim decided it was time to take a shower. Souji thought nothing of it until the Sim was actually in the shower. 

Then he just stared, because the censor bar that was supposed to blur out the shower scene was not there, and his Sim was completely naked. 

Completely naked and apparently packing.

"Wh-when did...?" Souji asked aloud, blushing hard. There wasn't an update to the game or anything, was there? No, the game company wouldn't do something like this!

And then he realized he had one too many cats in his Sim household. He moused over the offender and saw it was named 'Awesomesauce.' With that, Souji had his culprit.

" _Yosuke!_ " 

A short time later, Yosuke came shuffling out of the bedroom in just an undershirt and his boxer-briefs. He looked so tired from his full course load that Souji felt marginally bad for calling him like this. Marginally, because Yosuke only had himself to blame!

"What's up, partner?" Yosuke glanced at the computer screen. "Ohhhh... Haha, so you _are_ still playing that."

"You added a nude mod to my game!" 

"Yeah," Yosuke said without any remorse, "and I had to use like five different websites to get it all to work right. You should thank me."

"I'm not playing this game for that sort of release!" Souji crossed his arms in the computer chair to emphasize his displeasure.

"You know," Yosuke said slowly, sounding and looking a bit unsure of himself. "I noticed that. When I was playing around with your household."

Souji tilted his head. "Noticed what?"

"That..." Yosuke continued, still speaking slowly, "your Sim's relationship with all of his cats is maxed out, but his relationship with my Sim is only at Acquaintance level, even though we're living together."

"Well, I mean..." Souji frowned, because the reason behind that was...

"Our Sims should be lovers already." Yosuke was pouting. "I mean, we are in real life!"

"We are," Souji conceded.

"Yeah!" Yosuke said. "So, our Sims should totally get together. ...Why are you making that face?"

Souji looked away, but it was too late. Yosuke had seen that he wasn't excited about the idea.

"What, are you not planning to get our Sims together? Souji!"

"Well..."

"You're not?" Yosuke's volume rose as he began to panic over a character in a video game. "Oh no, partner. Don't tell me! Your Sim... has he found someone else?"

"N-no, it's not that." Souji was shaking his head. "It's just..."

"What is it, partner? Don't hold out on me!"

"I don't..." Souji began, but he cut himself off with a huge sigh. "Yosuke..."

"J-just tell me! The fate of our Sims' relationship is in your hands!"

Souji blurted it out. "I don't want my Sim to get more action than I get!" 

Souji's face was burning from his embarrassment. Yosuke stared at him, speechless.

"Wh-when was the last time we found time for each other?" Souji explained. "With school and work and everything, it's been a while."

"Yeah, you're right," Yosuke said. "It has."

"I feel like I haven't kissed you in weeks," Souji confessed. "Let alone, well, WooHoo."

"We could... we could change that right now," Yosuke murmured, leaning in closer.

"No," Souji said, but it was with reluctance. "You should be asleep already. You have classes tomorrow."

"You care more about my classes than I do," Yosuke said. He sighed. "All right... but do you have any free time tomorrow? We can make some time for each other."

"I have some time between my last class and work," Souji said. "I usually come back here for a late lunch then."

"Well," Yosuke said, "you'll have a little bit more for lunch." 

He leaned in and kissed Souji on the lips, sealing the promise. Despite not wanting to keep Yosuke from going to bed, Souji didn't let him pull away until they enjoyed several long kisses.

After that, Yosuke's eyes were dancing. "So... now can our Sims get together?" he asked.

"Yeah," Souji said with a genuine smile. "Now get to bed." He pushed Yosuke out of his lap.

After emitting a sigh, Yosuke began to walk back to the bedroom. He paused right before the door, however, to tell him one last thing: "Make sure to keep those mods on!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there are nude mods for the Sims. I haven't installed any myself. 
> 
> ...yet
> 
> Also you can't tell me Yosuke isn't the type to install such a thing.


	4. Look Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji doesn't get memes. What else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 (June 15) : Fan Content Based on Fan Content
> 
> The fan content this was based on is [this piece by eggchef.](http://eggchef.tumblr.com/post/133824637652/theres-a-good-reason-why-persona-4-didnt-include) It's not souyo but was inspirational nonetheless, I guess? haha
> 
> This is pointless and silly. You have been warned.
> 
> A Yu Narukami version is available [here at Dreamwidth!](http://angevon.dreamwidth.org/39391.html)

Yosuke put his foot all the way up on the bathroom sink's edge. He pointed his phone at his reflection in the mirror, making sure the phone itself covered his face, and posed with the fingers of his free hand making a sign over his head.

He was pretty happy with the picture, though the Junes apron wasn't all that flattering. He added a caption and sent it to all his friends.

And then he went back to work because his break was over. He grabbed a cardboard box full of sunglasses from the storage room. The sunglasses were stock meant for the summer display he'd set up earlier. Anyone could tell they were cheaply-made and probably had no UV protection, but the idea was that if you were already buying sunscreen, you might be inclined to pick up a pair. 

Yosuke began to set the sunglasses into their holders on the display rack, putting the more expensive ones in the front. Stores could be so dishonest with their displays sometimes... but he wasn't gonna let the shift manager have any complaints when she checked over his work later. He would just follow orders for now.

He was still pulling sunglasses out of the box when he had the feeling that he was being watched. Good customer service told him he couldn't ignore this. Swallowing a resentful sigh, he asked, "Can I help you?" 

"Maybe," a soft and familiar voice answered. Yosuke grinned to himself upon hearing it. He turned around and found his friend Souji standing just a few feet away, all casual with his hand on his hip. 

"Hey," Yosuke greeted. "What are you doing here? Shopping for Nanako-chan? I think I saw a pair of sunglasses that were perfect for her. They're pink."

"No," Souji said. "I'm here for an ass-kicking."

It took several moments for Yosuke to process that, because it wasn't in the realm of possible things he'd ever expected to come from his friend's mouth. "Wait, what?"

"An ass-kicking," Souji repeated.

Souji's face was completely serious, and it took Yosuke just another moment to recall that picture he'd sent to everyone earlier in the day.

"Dude," Yosuke said. "That was a joke!" 

"Oh..."

"Don't sound so disappointed!"

Souji looked disappointed, too. Yosuke began to shake his head. This guy was so silly sometimes. His deadpan sense of humor made it hard to tell when to take him seriously. 

Yosuke was about to go back to stocking when he spied Souji turning away and hunching his back over slightly against the nearby shelves. "Are you sure?" Souji asked.

Yosuke's eyes were drawn to Souji's most prominent feature in this pose: his ass. "D-dude! What are you..."

"Are you sure?" Souji asked again, bending over further.

Yosuke continued to stare, because all things considered, his friend had a nice ass. Souji's school uniform pants today were quite tight, making it well-defined. Possibly they were a size or two too small for him.

Finally Yosuke shook his head with vigor until he came back to his senses. He glanced around, making sure there weren't any other customers around before hissing a sharp, "What is wrong with you!"

Souji straightened his posture with a sigh. "I'm just saying, you should be prepared to deliver on your promises."

"That wasn't a promise!"

Souji's soulful eyes watched him doubtfully, almost like Yosuke'd really disappointed him somehow. It was so unnerving that Yosuke had to break the silence.

"L-look," Yosuke said. "I'll kick your ass someday. Not today. Someday. You... you won't even see it coming."

"Good," Souji said with a determined little smile. "I'll look forward to it."

Good?! Yosuke frowned as Souji turned away from him. Unconsciously, Yosuke stared at his friend's ass as he walked down the aisle. He wondered what exactly he'd just promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know either


	5. On Top of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Souji tries to face one of his fears so that he doesn't ruin his date with Yosuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 7 (June 18) : ~~Shadows~~ / Fluff 
> 
> I didn't have it in me to write for day 5 or 6. Of all the fics I've written for the week, I actually wrote this fic first, intending it to be a confession, but decided that it fit the Fluff theme much better.
> 
> This is an established relationship fic.
> 
> **Content Warning: Panic attack**
> 
> A Yu version is available [here at Dreamwidth!](http://angevon.dreamwidth.org/39469.html)

"I didn't know you were so good at Mr. Digger, partner!" Yosuke said.

"It's fun," Souji replied with a nonchalant shrug.

He and Yosuke were just leaving an arcade at the KEP Four mall. They'd been in the arcade for longer than he'd expected, mainly because he hadn't expected to see his favorite video game there.

"I'll say. You used up all my change."

Souji began to apologize, but Yosuke shushed him. "It's fine," Yosuke said. "I'm taking you out, remember? If you're having fun, that's all that matters. You want a drink?" 

They'd stopped by a vending machine in a little alcove near the arcade. Yosuke might not have had anymore change with him, but he still had some bills. He stuffed one into the machine and selected a can of Orange Smash. He took a long sip from it.

"I'll just share yours," Souji suggested, staring at Yosuke's upper lip, which was now stained orange from the soda.

"Oh?" Yosuke raised his eyebrows. "Wanting to share an indirect kiss?"

"If an indirect one is all I'm getting on this date..." Souji trailed off, sending his partner a suggestive look.

Yosuke was shaking his head and grinning. "You just wait, partner. The best is yet to come. Follow me."

Curious, Souji followed Yosuke to the elevator. The mall spanned several stories, most of it dedicated to designer shopping. They'd been to a cafe on the basement level earlier, and the food had been pricey but good, though the coffee'd had a little too much cinnamon in it.

When Yosuke selected the 7th floor, Souji felt a wave of apprehension go through him. He didn't really like elevators, not when they went this high. The one at Junes in Inaba had been fine because it was only two floors. When there were more than three, it made him antsy. He didn't know how elevators worked, and it bothered him knowing that there was nothing but empty air under the floor.

Yosuke's presence was calming, at least, and when the doors closed and the elevator began its ascent, Souji grabbed onto his hand. Yosuke seemed surprised at first, but then grinned and squeezed his hand back. 

Immediately once the doors opened on the 7th floor, Souji broke away from Yosuke to dash right out of the elevator. He had to apologize afterward to the woman outside he'd almost run into, but now he was on stable floor and everything was okay.

"You all right, partner?" Yosuke asked, trailing behind him as he caught his breath.

"Y-yeah," Souji answered. "I don't like elevators that much."

"Too cramped for you? I guess we could've taken the escalators instead."

Souji shuddered at the thought. He'd seen those escalators in the very center of the mall. If you looked over the railing on any floor, you could see the escalators criss-crossing each other all the way down to the lower levels. It was so far down... Rationally, he knew he couldn't fall off the side of an escalator, and there were even protective guardrails to prevent that, but it didn't stop him from thinking about falling.

"A-anyway," Souji said to change the subject. "What are we doing here?" He glanced at the nearby map kiosk, but this floor only had a bunch of restaurants, and they'd already eaten earlier.

With a wide grin, Yosuke handed him a paper from his pocket. "You were so busy getting that high score, I bought the tickets and you didn't even notice I was gone!"

Souji stared at the paper now in his hand. It was a ticket for the Ferris wheel at the top of the building.

"Ever since I saw it," Yosuke said, "I just knew we had to ride it."

"Oh... this is great," Souji said slowly with a smile so fake it wouldn't fool Nanako. 

But Yosuke was already heading towards the part of the mall that led to the attraction. Since there was little other choice, Souji followed him to where the line was forming to go on the ride. There were only a few people ahead of them.

"We'll be alone at the top of the city," Yosuke told him quietly, as if it was a secret. "It'll be nice and private, just the two of us." His eyes were dancing with anticipation and his cheeks had earned a mild flush at the thought. 

"It does sound nice," Souji admitted, though he hesitated to take the spot in line behind his boyfriend.

"It'll be the perfect end to our date. It'll be, you know..." The flush on Yosuke's face darkened. " _Intimate._ " 

He sounded so sincere that Souji decided there wasn't a way he could back out of this. Burying his trepidation, Souji stepped in line behind his boyfriend. A man soon took their tickets and directed them into the chamber beyond. 

The next room had glass walls so that one could see the lower section of the massive, bright red Ferris wheel on the other side. Souji craned his head to see the top of the wheel, but he grew lightheaded before he could even spy the wheel's hub.

"This is so cool," Yosuke squealed. "Come on, partner, let's go on!"

The Ferris wheel was in continual motion, moving so slowly that the cars didn't actually stop at the loading zone to let people on or off. You had to get on while it was still moving, but that wasn't hard to do. The loading zone was so long that three cars were present and available to board at all times, and there was an attendant present to help with the process.

One of the cars was already boarded and beginning to leave the loading zone, but another was ready to replace it at the far end as the wheel continued to move. Yosuke motioned Souji to follow him to this car, but Souji found that his legs had locked on him.

Yosuke inched his way alongside the car, keeping pace with it as he waited for Souji, who... didn't want to go on. He began to think up and discard various excuses to get out of this.

But as Yosuke chatted away at the attendant holding the door open for him, his excitement for the ride to come was so tangible that Souji knew he couldn't back down. Yosuke was counting on him to have a good time. Souji knew it was safe. People went on this ride every day and no one had ever fallen out of it. It was perfectly safe.

Still, it took a gargantuan effort for Souji to get his legs moving towards the car. Even facing gods hadn't made his heart race this much.

"Souji!" Yosuke said, somewhat chiding, as Souji finally reached the car. "Any slower and it would've gone without us! Here, you go in first."

Now Souji couldn't refuse. He swallowed his rising fear and entered the car, Yosuke following after. Once inside, Souji took a seat and immediately closed his eyes. He knew it would help if he couldn't see. He carefully controlled his breathing, in and out slowly, trying to find his happy place. Right now the car was only less than half a meter from the ground. Even if it detached and fell, it would be okay. It was survivable. He could do this.

"We're going up!" 

Involuntarily, Souji felt his stomach drop at Yosuke's announcement. They were moving. They were moving and there was no way back down.

His body began to shake, even with his eyes closed. He couldn't do this.

Yosuke's voice seemed far away as it said something about hooking up his phone to the car to play custom music. Souji was frantically trying to rediscover his happy place. _It's fine,_ he told himself. _It's fine, people ride this thing every day!_ It didn't matter how high it was, it was still safe.

Yosuke nudged him in the shoulder to get his attention. "Look, look!"

Souji opened his eyes to see Yosuke's face pressed right up against the glass of the window.

And behind him, the clear night sky and stars beyond.

"There are birds living there," Yosuke said, eyes focused on something outside the car. He was tapping the glass as if to point them out. "Right there on the light fixture. You can see their silhouettes in the light. Man, they'll build a nest anywhere."

But Souji didn't see any birds because white spots were appearing before his eyes. They were so high up... He whimpered and slid bonelessly down to the floor of the car. The redistribution of weight caused the car to sway slightly, which only made him feel even dizzier.

Yosuke soon noticed he was on the floor. "What are you doing down there?" He patted the seat next to him. "Come on, sit here so we can cuddle."

Souji didn't move. He didn't trust himself to move. What if... what if his weight caused the whole car to shift again, and it made them fall, and...

Yosuke reached down and tugged on the collar of his shirt, apparently intending to pull him up, but recoiled and let him go. "Dude, you're soaking wet! Is that... sweat?"

"I can't," Souji muttered. "I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't—"

Yosuke hovered over him now, eyes wide. "Souji...?"

"I can't I can't I can't..." 

He repeated it about a dozen more times, and after expending all those words, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe, or else the car would rock, and then they'd fall, and then...

Souji clutched his head to stave off the sudden headache, his face getting paler and paler from lack of breath. They were going to fall any second, and he didn't want to fall, he didn't want to, he didn't want to!

"Souji!" Yosuke called from what felt like far away. 

"I don't want to die!" he wailed, gripping and tugging on his hair clutched in his fists.

"Souji, it's—it's all right, partner," Yosuke said, perched awkwardly in his seat as he tried to give Souji space. "I'm... I'm here, okay? And I... I need you to do something. Can you hear me? Just nod."

With some difficulty, Souji managed a nod. 

"I need you to take a deep breath," Yosuke said.

"I c-can't!" Souji choked out.

"Y-you've got to!" Yosuke said. "Do it for me, okay? Everything's gonna be okay."

Souji was so lightheaded by now that he couldn't even nod. He concentrated as hard as he could and took a breath. It wasn't deep at all; his lungs wouldn't fill because his throat was closed so tight.

"All right," Yosuke said. "Now breathe out... and in... and out... and in. Good, you're doing great. Partner, we're almost at the top."

"Top?" Souji's voice was a high-pitched whine.

"Yeah, like... w-we're almost halfway done!" Yosuke quickly explained. "Just another five minutes and we'll be on the ground again, can you hang in there?"

"Don't know..." Souji whispered hoarsely. His body felt tingly all over, and he still couldn't see for all the white spots in his eyes. 

"Dammit, I wish I still had my old inhaler." Yosuke was wringing his hands. "Keep breathing okay? In and out, that's right..." 

A few breaths later, and Souji could almost see again. Almost, because the spots had been replaced by tears. His body was trembling now, too, and he didn't want it to tremble, because that would rock the car, and...

"Hey, Souji," Yosuke said in a low tone. "Can I hold you? Will that help?"

"D-don't know... We might... f-fall...if you move..."

Yosuke shook his head. "If we do fall..." – he moved into the small space behind Souji on the floor and pulled him into an embrace from behind – "We'll fall together, all right?"

"I don't want to die," Souji whimpered. "We're so, we're so high up, I don't want to fall!"

"It's okay, it's okay," Yosuke cooed into his ear. He held Souji tighter, wanting him to know that no matter what, he was there. "I won't let you fall. I won't let you go, I'll hold onto you until we're at the bottom. We're almost there. Just a little more."

In Yosuke's comforting embrace, Souji's breathing began to turn into something more regular, but he still hiccuped when he tried to speak. 

"Keep breathing," Yosuke murmured. "I'll breath with you, okay? In... and out..."

Souji followed his boyfriend's directions, and before he knew it, the car door opened and the attendant was peering in at them. 

"We're there," Yosuke said, gently stroking his fingers through Souji's hair. "Do you think you can get up?"

"Help me," Souji whispered.

When Yosuke stood up in the car, it rocked, and Souji immediately grabbed onto his legs, a new slew of tears escaping his eyes. 

"It's okay, partner, I've got you," Yosuke said, pulling him onto his feet even though he was forced to carry most of Souji's weight. "Now we're just going to step down..."

Souji nearly fell to the floor, but Yosuke had the strength to keep him upright. With firm floor under him, Souji found that he could finally catch his breath.

"Just a few more steps," Yosuke said. "Let's get out of the way of these nice people... 

Yosuke led him away from the curious onlookers at the Ferris wheel and into the next room, then turned down a secluded hallway that led to the restrooms. He carefully settled Souji's back against the wall, then pressed up against him to make sure he could stay upright. 

After some time, Souji finally relaxed. His senses returned, but he didn't want to say anything because Yosuke hugging him against the wall like this was really nice.

Except that his nose was running, and he didn't want to get that into his boyfriend's hair. "I'm... I'm okay now," he said, his voice sounding rather raw.

Yosuke released him slowly, like he wasn't sure he believed him. "Partner?" 

"Thanks," Souji mumbled. He avoided Yosuke's eyes. "For... back there. For not... calling me stupid, or telling me it wasn't real, that it was all in my head." He pressed his eyes closed, willing the tears welling in them to go away.

"Whatever danger you thought you were in, well... it was real to you," Yosuke said. "But I have to say, I never would've expected our date to end with you having a panic attack."

"I'm sorry... I ruined it..."

"Nuh-uh!" 

Souji suddenly felt Yosuke take hold of his hands. Souji opened his eyes and found the other boy kissing his knuckles, a tender expression on his face.

"You know," Yosuke said casually, "I used to have them too, when I was a little kid. Panic attacks."

Souji blinked at him. "Yeah...?"

"Mm-hmm. They stopped after a while, guess I outgrew them. That's how I knew what was going on with you back there."

"I'm just... t-terrified of heights," Souji admitted. "I can usually manage it, but that Ferris wheel... I couldn't stop thinking we were going to fall."

"It was too much, huh? I wish you would've told me. We didn't have to go on it."

"You were looking forward to it. I didn't want to ruin it for you... but I did anyway..."

"I'll admit I wanted to kiss you at the top of the Ferris wheel," Yosuke said. "It would've been really romantic. But..."

Souji began to apologize again, but found Yosuke's warm lips on his, silencing him. 

"The thing is," Yosuke said right against his mouth, "you're my boyfriend, so... I can kiss you anywhere."

"Can we..." Souji began sheepishly, only continuing when Yosuke nodded for him to go on. "...go to the ground floor?"

Yosuke's expression couldn't get any softer. "Sure, partner. Why don't we call it a night? And... we'll take the stairs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mr. Digger = Mr. Driller  
> I love that game
> 
> There is a real mall called the HEP Five that has a big Ferris wheel on top and that's what I based this on. Google it for some fun pictures of it!


End file.
